The Harry Hermione Saga
by The Nachoman
Summary: A series of unconnected short stories about how could Harry and Hermione end up together. With every possible definition of "Together" under the sun: Married, free union, fused, soul linked, reborn as twins, reborn as conjoined twins, reborn as alternate personalities, body possession, blood adoption, cursed together... (Rated "Mature" just to stay safe. Most shorts rate "Teen")
1. Granger Twins Version 1

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter book saga belongs to J K Rowling. This is a fan work done for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

 **The Harry Hermione Saga**

 _Author note: Each chapter constitutes a separate, short story (unless the title says Part 2 or so), all under the overarching theme of "Harry and Hermione end up together"._

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Granger Twins, Version 1

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"Good night, girls," said Monica Granger, kissing her two daughters on top of their heads while giving them a little hug.

Hermione, along with her sister Harriet, muttered a "Good night, Mum" into the hug, then tiptoed up to kiss their mum's cheeks and saw her out. They then disrobed down to knickers and socks, put on random flannel nightshirts and sat down in front of their mirror to take turns brushing each others hair, pinning it up and stuffing it inside their also randomly selected nightcaps. They then carefully inspected each other, to make sure that not a single strand of Hermione's big hair or Harriet's ironed-down, waist-length hair came out of their nightcaps.

And just as they were okaying each other, a knock came from the door.

Like clockwork.

"Come in Daddy," they chorused.

And so, Wendell Granger came into the room, tried to tell them apart (which he just couldn't do unless he could see their heads), then tucked them both into their bed, turned on the reading lamp on their headboard, and turned off the light fixture on his way out.

And so, the girls waited until they heard him entering the master bedroom, then they carefully climbed out of bed, reached under it and pulled out their "box of secrets": a common cardboard box they found in the street, painted with muggle repelling and notice-me-not runes (painted with their own blood).

Opening it, they found the weapons that they had been oh-so-carefully been making over the last few years to stop the coming war: evil-sucking jars. Almost a decade after the war, Hermione had found about these Aztec devices that simply sucked evil spirits right out the air; she later brought her findings to Harry, wondering if Quirrel could have had an "accident". They then spent five years looking for a ritual which could send them to their younger selves, and finally Hermione sabotaged Harry's ritual in the only way she found would make sure he wouldn't need to suffer a decade of neglect. Hermione knew too that her sabotage incurred the risk that Harry and she could have ended conjoined, or even as alternate personalities, but she was certain that even if those possibilities had happened, she would still have absolutely no regrets…

And so, Harriet had finished tonight's prayer session while she was thinking, Hermione helped her to fill the box again, then they slipped back into their bed.

And as Hermione picked up a high school chemistry textbook for some light reading, Harry curled up against her side and was out like a light.

Hermione tried to concentrate on her book, but didn't feel that much motivation tonight, and was rather distracted by the oh-so-cute noise of her sis snores against her right shoulder.

Eventually, she gave up, put her book on her bedside table and reached up to turn off the reading light. And she then gently shock Harry half awake, so they could both hug properly and fall asleep cheek-to-cheek.

And Hermione fell asleep, feeling no regrets whatsoever...

* * *

Prompt: Time travel gone wrong, then Granger twins.


	2. Granger Twins Version 2

Hi.

* * *

Granger Twins, Version 2

* * *

"Good night, girls," said Monica Granger, kissing her two daughters on top of their heads while giving them a little hug.

Hermione, along with her sister Harriet, muttered a "Good night, Mum" into the hug, then tiptoed up to kiss their mum's cheeks and saw her out. They then disrobed down to knickers and socks, each selected a different pyjama, then flipped a coin to put on Harry's choice: a pink nightshirt with matching nightcaps.

But before putting on the nightcaps, they sat down in front of their mirror and carefully brushed down their hair. Or more like they took turns: each of them had a single hand, but they both preferred to brush two-handed. They thus carefully brought down Hermione's big hair, then Harry's ironed-down, mid-back length hair, which they then carefully pinned up and gathered inside their nightcaps.

And then a knock came from their door.

Like clockwork.

"Come in Daddy," they chorused.

And so, Wendell Granger came into the room and began conversing with them, all along playing his silly, loving game of not being able to tell them apart because he couldn't see their differently-styled hairs. But Hermione knew Harry loved the game, despite them all knowing that it would be downright idiotic if their Daddy couldn't tell left from right with his two-headed, one-bodied daughters.

But, after a few more minutes of silliness, he tucked them into their bed, then turned on the reading lamp on their headboard, and turned off the light fixture on his way out.

And so, the girls waited until they heard him entering the master bedroom, then they carefully climbed out of bed, reached under it and pulled out their "box of secrets": a common cardboard box they found in the street, painted with muggle repelling and notice-me-not runes (painted with their own blood).

Opening it, they found the weapons that they had been oh-so-carefully been making over the last few years to stop the coming war: evil-sucking jars. Almost a decade after the war, Hermione had found about these Aztec devices that simply sucked evil spirits right out the air; she later brought her findings to Harry, wondering if Quirrel could have had an "accident". They then spent five years looking for a ritual which could send them to their younger selves, and finally Hermione sabotaged Harry's ritual in the only way she found would make sure he wouldn't need to suffer a decade of neglect. Hermione knew too that her sabotage incurred the risk that Harry and she could have ended conjoined, or even as alternate personalities, but she was certain that even if that last possibility had happened, she would still have absolutely no regrets…

And so, Harriet had finished tonight's prayer session while she was thinking, Hermione helped her to fill the box again, then they slipped back into their bed and turned off the reading light.

And, after exchanging kisses to their cheeks, they leaned their cheeks together and settled down to sleep. As normal, Harry was out like a light, and was soon enough emitting those oh-so-cute snores of hers.

But Hermione waited some more. Some ten minutes later, Harry's hand began drifting up. Hermione took it and guided it to the centre of their chest, on top of their middle nipple, then gently opened her sis fingers and interlaced their hands on top of their two hearts.

And Hermione could now let herself fall asleep. Harry and her being conjoined was decidedly awkward, but Hermione had absolutely no regrets. Not when Harry's only option would have been a decade of Dursley flavoured neglect...

* * *

Prompt: Time travel gone wrong, then Granger conjoined twins


	3. Granger Twins Version 3

Hi.

* * *

Granger Twins, Version 3

* * *

Their bedtime routine was underway: Hermione Harriet Granger, eight years old, had had supper, then Hermione chose some pyjamas that she found comfy but Harriet didn't find pretty enough, they slipped into it, had put an eyepatch on their left eye, and while Hermione let go of any conscious control of her body (and kind-of stopped being able to see), Harriet had full control of her body, which was being tucked into her bed by Daddy.

"So, who are my favourite daughters?"

Her mouth, not currently under Hermione's control, opened and answered the typical answer:

"You only have us, Daddy!"

"And that, dear Harriet," he said, giving her a caress on her right cheek, "would be no obstacle toward me loving you two enough for three." He punctuated his statement by leaning down and placing a soft kiss on the right side of their forehead. He then reached at their left and pulled off the eyepatch, then leaned down and kissed her right eye. "Sleep tight, Harry dear, and let your sis have some time alone like you have every morning."

"I will, Daddy. Good night." And out of Hermione´s accord, her arms rose and pulled his face down to kiss his cheek.

And so, Wendell put the eyepatch on her right eye, and over the next couple of minutes, Hermione felt how the right side of her body kind off… shut down.

Hermione then "pushed" into it, kind of like slipping into a jacket, and gave her dad a slight nod.

"And you, Hermione: please don't stay up too late."

"I know, Dad; my sis and I only have one brain, and it needs its rest."

"And that's indeed the sound of my Hermione's voice," he said, giving her a caress on her left cheek. "So, which fairy tale will I read to my baby girl tonight?" He incorporated and eyed the bookcase. "Would 'Fluid Mechanics and Hydraulic Machinery' be light enough? Would you have some Nicholas of Machiavelli? Or how about Grey's Anatomy?"

Well, she was tempted for some neurology, but she felt peckish for something else tonight.

"I'm feeling wet behind the ears, Dad. I believe the second tome of 'Beyond Calculus' should help with that."

Wendell could 't help but chuckle at that. "Should be dry enough, baby girl," he replied, even as he pulled the dictionary-sized math textbook and placed it on her lap, sinking her into the mattress.

"Now, dearest," he opened, pocking her nose. "I want you asleep at a reasonable hour. If Harriet keeps having trouble waking up, I'll be taking your reading light. Understood?"

"Eleven to seven should be enough sleep, Dad," she replied, pouting.

"That's not enough for your age: that's the bare minimum."

"Alright, Dad;" she replied, chastised. "I'll turn off the light at ten."

His face softened again, and he leaned in to give her a hug and to kiss her hair.

"Don't be in too much of a hurry to grow up, Mione," he murmured into her scalp. "´Promise me you won't go to sleep and let Harriet monopolize Art Class or Soccer practice."

She couldn't reply verbally, but she could nod.

"And that's all I ask from you. Night."

"Night."

He turned off the room's light fixture and left.

Ten minutes later, though, Hermione was coming to regret her choice of reading material: while fortifying, this book was as dry as the desert. If anything, she could currently kill for one on advanced arithmancy, or Mayan time magic, or even just a more advanced one on neurology. After all, she still didn't know what had gone wrong with the rituals that sent both Harry and her into the past.

Well, in all honesty, she knew she had sabotaged Harry's ritual, meaning to make it fail completely so he wouldn't go again through a decade of Dursley flavoured neglect. Therefore, it had been quite a shock to find him redirected at her!

And then there was the so-called mystery of how they could function independently despite not having but one brain. MRI's and tomographies had shown that their brain was missing the corpus callosum, thus meaning no functional communication between their brain hemispheres, which had in turn forced both to act like complete brains from the moment of their birth. Even though they were basically two persons trapped in the same body, they were prospering. Of course, clinical psychologists and psychiatrists had still wanted them institutionalized to study the first-ever case of DID (dissociative identity disorder, commonly called multiple personalities disorder) that seemed to be inborn; however, their parents had pulled the plug and just accepted that they had more than one daughter… which Hermione was immensely thankful about…

As thankful as how much of a good sport had Harry been, all these years. She had sabotaged his ritual precisely because she knew how much of a living nightmare had his childhood been, and while she had been quite shocked, he had taken to being a girl like a fish to water. Hermione knew she would never ask… her, but she wondered if Harry either had been a closeted transsexual, or if Harry was simply powering through every inconvenience from the sheer joy of having loving parents.

And then…

And then Hermione felt herself yawning. She saw that the time was ten-thirty, so she closed the book, slipped it down to the floor and turned off her reading light…

* * *

 _Stretch… crack-crack… crack-crack-Crack!_

And Hermione was suddenly awake. Not that it showed externally at all, except as how their body staggered for a moment as Harry relinquished control of their left side and Hermione took it. If anything, Hermione was confused at how… routinary it had become for her to wake up in a body that was already wide awake. They thus lowered their arms and collapsed back down from the stretch that had oh-so-pleasantly woken her up. Actually using their eyes, she found they were standing up in front of their full body mirror, with Harry trying to show off their new hairdo: in addition to their normal braids over their two shoulders (Harry loved that hairdo), they had two thin braids framing the sides of their face, and these were interlaced with pink and baby blue ribbons. If anything, it was just so cute that Hermione let out a little squeal, which immediately made her cover her mouth, which then in turn made her other self take over her facial muscles, first to quickly lick her covering hand, then have a good giggle at her.

"It wasn't... that funny... Harry!" Hermione said between Harry's giggles.

"Coming from you... it was!"

And Hermione simply had to give that point. And had to chuckle in turn as Harry tried to use their right hand to tickle her ribs. Unfortunately, the neurological mechanism of being tickled shorts against human beings tickling their own body, but Hermione still chuckled at Harry's effort, and gave some back in turn.

Although, Hermione momentarily wondered if conjoined twins could tickle each other, but quickly discarded the question: while there was legal groundwork laid down so Harriet and her could be officially declared to be conjoined twins, functionally they were far more like alternate personalities, and Harry and her were, so far, more than happy that hardly anybody but family, doctors and the school headmistress and nurse knew of the fact. And she was also quite happy that Harry's new, outgoing personality had made them quite popular at school, which was quite the opposite that she had been the last time around.

Whatever had happened, results spoke for themselves: Harry was growing up in hugs and smiles rather than distrust and scowls, and Hermione was a geeky-yet-popular girl rather than a shunned and bullied bookworm. Life was good, and Hermione considered that them being a single girl was a small price to pay all around.

* * *

Prompt: Time Travel gone **very** wrong.


	4. Cho's Dilemma, Version 1

**Cho's Dilemma, Version 1**

* * *

Cho Potter, nee Chang, was waking up right where she preferred: spooned into her Harry, with his hands gently holding the small bulge of her belly.

Too bad, though, that she had woken up due to overheating, due to the fact that Hermione was cuddled into her front, with her hands also on Cho's midsection.

Of course, a small part of Cho wanted to be alarmed over having another woman in her bed, but she had mostly become jaded to the fact that her husband and his almost sister had become soul bonded during the war, and that soul bonded people couldn't maintain distance from each other. And that among soul bonded people, they were lucky: while some became entrapped in shared minds or had to maintain physical contact, they only maintained awareness of each others' emotional state and had to remain within some fifteen yards of each other... and couldn't go to sleep unless they were within a couple yards of each other.

Besides, Cho pitied Hermione: first the Weasel had rejected her over the soul link, then those brief and awkward romances with Neville Longbottom and Victor Krum, and now she was hounded by various descriptions of gold diggers that only wanted to nibble at the Potter state. And she knew that Hermione didn't want a lot: just to be cherished as more than a sister, and to eventually become a mother. Thus Hermione's horribly guilty envy over Cho's pregnancy, and why Cho tried to share her pregnancy with Hermione as much as she could. And why she was seriously considering her granny's angle about making Hermione a second wife.

But those would be issues for another time. Cho did tonight what she had been doing almost every night: she kicked the covers down to their waists, then wiggled an arm under her sister-in-law and pulled her into a gentle hug, and settled back to sleep.

* * *

 **Prompt: Cho marries Harry, Hermione tags along**


	5. Hindu Magic for Dummies

**Hindu Magic for dummies**

* * *

It had been Christmas in her first year when the Patil twins got their conjoining belts.

It had been amusing: among her Christmas presents, Parvati had received this box with a white belt and a black belt. As soon as she opened it, she shrieked in elation and tore out of the Gryffindor common room. Some twenty minutes later she returned with Padma… except for the detail that they were two heads on a single body. Something that later became a common sight, as the twins began spending at least one full day every weekend as a two-headed girl; "sharing shoulders", as they called it.

As Padma eventually explained, they had had an accident with similar belts when they were eight and gotten stuck together for almost a year. And these belts also happened to be very ancient and easy to get in India, and in fact they were the source of pretty much the entire Indian pantheon.

Then, on their second year, Lavender asked Parvati to share shoulders with her; thus, a Saturday mid October, while Lavender and Parvati ran around like they were six-year-olds, Hermione found herself with an armful of Padma, who while she didn't want to spoil her sister's fun, was green with envy. Hermione rose up to the challenge, thought: she got herself and Padma into short skirts and sleeveless blouses, applied a sticking charm along their inner legs and the arms across their backs, and spent their day between the Great Hall, gossiping with Claws, and the library, studying whatever subjects Padma wanted. That night, Padma introduced her to the Ravenclaw Tower, and then cuddled with her throughout the night.

The following weekend, Hermione found out what it was to have a second head and to not control the right side of her body. And she found the experience to be quite pleasant: while it was definitely weird to have to agree with another to do something as basic as walking, and it was very uncomfortable to not have privacy on the toilet; the feeling like her and her bestie were constantly cuddling was well worth it.

The reminder of her second year, Hermione would merge with Padma three more times. And once with Lavender, that first time when the twins finally learned to merge without the belts. That Saturday wasn't anywhere as good as prior experiences: not only had the merger pushed her to the right, leaving her without a dominant hand, and Lavender's loud and vapid personality left her feeling rather crowded, but it turned out that Lavender fancied Ron, and used the merger to get the courage to start flirting with Harry's less-than-hygienic friend.

Hermione didn't think too much about the belts beyond being fun toys, until November on her third year, when she learned that Harry didn't have a permission slip for Hogsmeade...

* * *

 **Third Year – The morning of the January free day in Hogsmeade, just after breakfast**

It had taken some effort to organize, but Hermione was confident that everything would work alright.

First of all, she had had to ask Parvati and Padma for the belts. Then, she had to quietly arrange Harry's alibi with the entirety of Gryffindor Tower (a much easier task than she had anticipated), and finally, after breakfast, she had loudly announced that she had forgotten her money back at the tower. In reality, she had gone to an unused classroom near the tower's entrance.

Now she just hoped Harry hadn't grown cold feet. But she severely doubted so: while he was good at masking his emotions, she knew him well enough to know he hated his exclusion as strongly as he had hated the whole 'Heir of Slytherin' whispering.

But why wasn't he here already!

 **Click!** Went the doorknob. Hermione flew to the slowly opening door, pulled a startled Harry in, and closed it again. And tossed it a locking charm for good measure.

She then turned back at Harry, who was just standing there dumbly. Hermione would have wanted to be exasperated at this, but she knew she hadn't yet explained him her plan. Which was just fine, because she knew he wouldn't want to go ahead if he had time to think about it. Which then meant that she had to plan it all, step by step. And the next steps didn't include telling him...

"About time, Harry!" She said, mocking irritation. "I wish I could tell you what's the plan, but we need to get down to the entrance while there is still a cue, thus we are out of time! Now get starkers!"

She turned around and begun pulling off the clothes she was wearing: to be able to fool first Mr. Filch and then the entire village of Hogsmeade, she needed to look as girly as possible, and not owning herself any winter dresses, she had asked Lavender for one. Well, the dress, the slip under the dress, the leggings, and a combo of lurid pink jacket and scarf that Hermione wouldn't have ever bought. So all she owned of what she was wearing was the boots, the undies, the gloves and the blouse.

Still, she had a plan to follow. Next step: once she was halfway naked, turn around again and 'discover' that Harry was just staring at the far wall and hasn't yet begun disrobing. "Harry!" she half-shouted, and once he turned to look at her, she shot him a glare that she had been practising against the mirror all week, and pointed at his clothing. He nodded hurriedly and began undoing his trousers...

A minute later, they were both standing naked, pretty much paralyzed. Intellectually, Hermione knew that Harry's upbringing had been quite abnormal and this would likely be his first time seeing a naked girl, and for her... well, it had been many years since the last time she had undressed her younger cousin. Thankfully, while his cheeks were nearly tomato red against his fair skin, her own involuntary reactions were safe behind her chocolate-coloured skin and those acting classes so many years ago.

So then came the next step: she produced a couple of 2-ounce phials from her nearly-empty backpack, pulled a couple of hairs from her head and put them into the preserved potion, and handed one to Harry. Harry didn't react immediately, but once she cleared her throat, he took it and drunk it all in one go.

Her previous experience with Polyjuice hadn't allowed her to analyze the transformation, but seeing it today was... fascinating! She thus saw in full detail how Harry grew two inches, his hair changed like a wave from his short and straight to her waterfall of tight curls, his scrawny chest grew a hint of breasts, his skin turned six shades darker, and... well, he turned from boy to girl down there. So, in thirty fascinating seconds, Harry had turned into a copy of her!

But Hermione shock her head: they still had to hurry. She thus produced the "godly belts" she had borrowed from Parvati and Padma.

Padma, when handing them over, had given her four requisites, and being naked was just the first one. For the next, Hermione transfigured a couple of chairs into a bench, and spoke up as she sat on the left side and pulled Harry to her right:

"Okay, we now need to be sitting down, I on the left and you on the right, then you put on the black belt, I put on the white one, and we then hug sideways with our middle arms pulling at each others armpit." And she handed her temporary twin the black belt.

Harry took it and then both put them on, and scooted closer before hugging, and waited.

It took a few seconds for it to start, but then Hermione felt a hot, near-burning sensation under her hand, where it was in contact with Harry's skin. Instinctively, she tried to pull it away, but it had become glued! A moment later, she felt a corresponding sensation under her left armpit, and looking down, saw how Harry's hand was sinking into her skin! Not surprisingly, these hot flashes then began extending to all the points where they had skin contact, and then eventually became a constant, almost painful sensation which extended from the point of contact to their whole bodies!

As the heat expanded, she saw how their four legs liquefied into an indistinct clay-like mass, shortly followed by their torsos. An indistinct column of chocolate-coloured clay, which rapidly began to narrow and then become girl-shaped. On their shoulders, Hermione noted their heads had migrated together and seemingly stopped where their cheeks were half an inch apart. She also noted that Harry's eyes were nervously shifting between their developing body and her face. Hermione placed a sweet kiss on his cheek, then leaned her cheek against his while she offered him her remaining hand, which Harry took.

Soon, the process completed, and Hermione looked down at... her normal body, except for wider shoulders, two heads and... were her breasts a little bigger now? She then caught Harry looking down too, they both became flustered, and she had to then break the ice again by gently running her hand, their left hand, on Harry's cheek.

"We have to hurry, Harry. We must be down before the cue is over."

And they dressed on her clothes, which took slightly longer than Hermione had calculated: first for casting the resizing charms on bra, blouse and the dress' bodice, and a carefully applied space expansion charm on the inside of the jacket (especially on the cowl); second, for Harry's slight hesitations about putting on girl's clothing; and third, for general clumsiness from the two of them, as while both of them could feel everything below their necks, and the magic of the belts would help them to coordinate their legs, Hermione had absolutely no control over their right arm, and thus had to carefully coach Harry rather than have two hands to speed things along.

But they eventually finished, and Hermione then cast a combo on their faces: a notice-me-not on her own face, and an allure on Harry's, and then picked up Harry's clothes and stuffed them in her's space-expanded backpack.

On their way down, Hermione insisted to pass through a bathroom, which greatly assuaged her fears: in the mirror, she simply saw herself, except for the Harry-like timid expression. They then wrapped on the scarf, and were down to a generic dark-skinned girl.

They made it down just in time.

* * *

The following day was forever etched in Hermione's memory: she thought she had been fascinated when she first saw Diagon Alley, but it just didn't compare to Harry's child-like glee, running around the plaza and streets and entering every store!

Well... until they entered Madam Puddifoot's Cafe, which cooled Harry's enthusiasm more effectively than a pail of cold water, and had Hermione casting a silencing charm on herself to keep from laughing out loud and blowing their cover.

But finally, around 4PM, Hermione managed to convince Harry to stop giving away his money to street vendors and drug him into The Three Broomsticks for a real meal. Just before entering, however, they were pulled by Lavender and a girl whose little exposed skin was just a shade less dark than Hermoine's, and who gave them a significant look. Harry and Hermione nodded, and let themselves be led into a nearby, secluded alleyway.

Once checking for eavesdroppers, the "girl" completely unwrapped the long scarf, and Padma and Parvati then took turns to use their two hands to rewrap some of it individually around their heads. In the mean time, Harry and Hermione lost their own head wrappings and Hermione then cast Finites at their two heads, cancelling the Allure and the Notice-me-not.

Soon enough, two girl bodies with two heads a piece, plus plain Lavender, were in the alleyway, with the right head of the other one beginning to carefully appraise them. Hermione felt herself amused by being examined, and gave a quick kiss to Harry's cheek when she felt the right side of her body begin tensing. Harry blushed something fierce, but relaxed and let Padma continue.

A hand came forward, but Padma only examined their faces before speaking up:

"Harry's disguise is absolutely perfect, Hermione! How did you do it?" said the girl, carefully examining Harry's chin.

"It's a seventh year potion called polyjuice, Padma," Hermione stated proudly. "Harry's my twin at the moment."

"Impressive," Padma replied.

"Yeah, yeah," said Parvati, dismissively. "You two can go all egghead later; I'm hungry!"

"Me too," stated Lavender."

A minute later, three girls slipped into the Three Broomsticks, two of whom asked for rather large portions.

* * *

It wasn't till the night that Harry and Hermione learned that they had gotten stuck. As it turned out, the belts the twins had given them were a combination either meant for short term between a boy and a girl, or long term between two boys or two girls. As they were two girls the moment they had merged, the belts had locked.

Their group lost 20 points for sneaking an unauthorized student out of the school, and 30 more for inexpertly combining powerful magics.

Hermione also had to drop Divination and Muggle studies, while Harry then had to pick up Ancient Runes mid year! And she would lose her Time Turner in a fortnight, as she was now supposed to use expanded time to help Harry catch up on Runes!

But the worst punishment, as far as Hermione was concerned, was that she was now stuck to Harry until mid-May!

* * *

 **February**

Finally done with her homework, and feeling bad that Harry had to keep stifling his yawns for the last half hour, Hermione cleared her half of the desk and… removed her Ancient Runes notes from his unresponsive hands, then nudged his head with hers so they could get up and move up the girls' staircase.

The moment that one of their feet touched the first riser, the 'no boys allowed' enchantment activated, although rather than making a racket and turning the steps into a slide, the alarm box emitted a weak groan and the steps just vibrated under their feet. Like it knew that things weren't right yet weren't wrong either with a two-headed hermaphrodite. Which, truth be told, mirrored Hermione's feelings on this entire debacle.

They made it up to the third years' dorm and stepped in, then they stepped behind the folding screen that had been procured for their use and exchanged their robes for a towel.

Five minutes later, they had used the toilet and were stepping into one of the shower stalls. Hermione certainly didn't love not being able to be by herself even in the toilet stall, but at least had the consolation that Harry seemed to be equally uncomfortable.

Or too uncomfortable, really! She had found it reassuring that he wasn't willing to even look down, let alone touch anything when they showered, but she was finding it more and more aggravating that she was being forced to scrub them both, single-handedly. So, she muttered something unladylike under her breath, then nudged his head.

"Harry, please help me shower us."

"But, Hermione…!"

"We have to adapt, Harry," she interrupted him. "While it was certainly very gentlemanly from you to promise to never look down, it was foolish for me to hold you from looking down your own body. Because this is what it is: we are sharing a single body, so it is as much yours as it is mine."

He didn't reply verbally, but she could feel him silently panicking, as inside their chest their heart had suddenly began galloping, and his eyes were trying to pop out of his skull. She thus did the opposite: she leaned her head on his, used her hand to pull at his shoulder into the best approximation of a hug that their current situation allowed, and murmured a calming mantra near his ear.

It took a minute, but he finally calmed down enough to return her hug.

"Now, Harry, close the water and pick up the soap", she intoned.

* * *

Normally, she would shower herself in five to ten minutes, depending on whether she was washing her hair. Lately, showering them both had been taking some fifteen minutes without washing her hair, due to having to work single-handedly. Today, it took them fifteen minutes with her hair included, as he was mirroring her movements, but repeatedly froze up...

But they eventually finished showering, and changed into trunks, a not-so-girly nightshirt (modified to accommodate their two necks) and some pyjama trousers. And five minutes later, they were on her bed, and Harry had gone off like a light.

Meanwhile, as Hermione contemplated ramifications to her actions on the shower, and reassured herself that Harry was the most gentlemanly boy she had ever known.

She then gave him a kiss on the cheek, then curled up her legs and, carefully holding his head, rolled to her side.

And after five seconds of treasuring the weight of his head against hers, she opened her eyes like saucers: when she curled up their legs, that had included his: the right leg that she had been able to feel, but not even nudge, since January!

Experimentally, she stretched both legs. She then curled his. She then used _his_ hand to cup his cheek. And then tried to move his neck, but failed.

Carefully holding his head between his hand and her head, she then got off the bed, went down to the common room and found a quill and a scrap of parchment.

 _Harry:_

 _I discovered last night that, if you're asleep, I can control the whole body._

 _I know you wake up earlier than me on a regular basis._

 _Please don't stay in bed for my sake._

 _Hermione._

Hermione then went back to their dorm, secured the note to Harry's forehead by a sticking charm, kissed his cheek, and went to sleep.

* * *

When she woke up in the morning, she first noticed the piece of parchment stuck to her forehead, covering her eyes.

But she then realized that Harry had apparently done their morning routine alone, and was carefully walking down for breakfast while he had a hushed conversation with Oliver Wood. The older boy apparently hoped that Hermione could sleep through a Quidditch game, while Harry was shooting him down.

And then Harry slowed down, and finally stopped walking.

" _Why are you stopping, Harry?"_ whispered Oliver.

" _I can't move my left leg anymore,"_ he replied. " _I think Hermione's waking up."_

"Yes, I am," she informed, taking the parchment off her face and sleepily rubbing her eyes. "And for the record, if you can find a way to keep me asleep through a game, I'm willing to take it."

Oliver shock her hand, kissed both her cheeks and tore off, but that didn't hold a candle in her heart compared with Harry's amazed smile.

* * *

Over the following weeks, though, not all of Gryffindor working together could find an answer: any sleepiness potions would affect them both; Hermione would wake through weak sleepiness charms and stronger ones would make Harry punch drunk; and Hermione drew the line at somebody suggesting transfiguring her head to a bat's.

Hermione meanwhile tried to become better at Quidditch, and indeed mostly got over her fear of heights. _Mostly_ being the operational word here: she could now let Harry fly as furiously as he wanted, but she would tense up if he went for a hard dive...

At the very least they did get something personally useful out of this: the Petrificus Cogote charm, a very easy medical charm for straightening the neck and holding the head up. That made having time alone much easier for either of them.

* * *

 **March**

 _...smell of bacon..._

 _...smell of fresh coffee..._

 _...a hand gently caressing the back of her hand..._

And so, Hermione drifted awake into what she had come to regard as the best way to wake up: inside the Main Hall, already dressed and brushed, with breakfast under her nose.

Her right half, feeling how she was waking up, stopped caressing her hand and rather used his hand to gently pull her cheek against his lips.

"AWWW..." came the chorus of several girls around them...

And Hermione thus opened her eyes to see all of the surrounding girls look somewhere between star-struck and green with envy. To a nerdy girl who had been always bullied and shunned through Primary, this was a golden feeling. Furthermore, she felt awesome that the other girls in her room had done away with the little partition, having replaced their intimidation of having a boy in the room, for curiosity to catch a glimpse of "Little Harry".

After he cast a _Finite_ at her neck, she kissed his cheek in turn, muttering " _You spoil me, Harry."_

" _Nonsense,"_ he muttered back, as he used his fork to spear a sausage link on their plate, bit off roughly half of it, and stuff the rest in her waiting mouth. She then picked their knife and they thus cooperated to cut their steak and eggs, at which point she picked up her fork and they began eating in earnest.

Almost the very moment she swallowed her last bite, he reached forward for some toast. Synchronizing with him, she buttered it, spread jam on it, and ate the second bite.

While she chewed, she reached for her breakfast tea, which Harry had prepared for her before waking her up. Harry momentarily tensed his neck muscles as if to nod, to which she answered by bringing the cup up his lips rather than hers and tipping it until he once again pulsed his neck muscles to tell her to stop. She immediately then brought it to her own lips and took a similarly long gulp.

It wouldn't dawn on Hermione until they had finished it, but she hadn't bothered to rotate the teacup so their lips wouldn't be landing on the same spot. Just like she hadn't bothered to find her own spot to bite the bread, and hadn't even really noticed the sausage.

* * *

She spent the rest of the day distracted, analizing their routine in search for struggles, but rather finding the opposite: rather than ever choosing a bathroom, after Herbology, they used their dorm's communal showers just like any of the other girls, but mid afternoon they had a piss at the loo nearest to the library, which happened to be a boys' one.

At dinner, he put fried fish on their plate while she put veggies. Experimentally, she began feeding him her veggies, and without missing a bit, he began feeding her his fish.

That night, once he was asleep and she had some "alone" time, instead of studying some advanced magic, she went to bed early and cried a little. Thing is, she didn't even know why she was crying, other than confusion...

* * *

The following morning, she asked him to have the knife, then she stuffed both their mouths. And she drank half of his glass of pumpkin juice, despite despising the flavour. He seemed to catch on to her actions, and drank half of her glass of milk, which he didn't like either.

At dinner, while she had the knife, he stuffed both their mouths.

And at bedtime, rather than letting him cast a slumber charm on himself, she asked him if they could cuddle to bed tonight. So, she went to sleep with his left cheek against his right, his hand against her left cheek, and her leg crossed with his. And she wished this moment would last forever, for she had never felt closer to another human being in all of her life.

* * *

 **April**

At dinner, Padma had given them a little box, had kissed their cheeks and had told them to choose one for tonight, to take the other tomorrow (Saturday) night, and to not swallow it until they were alone in their bed and naked.

Twenty minutes and a coin flip later, Harry had swallowed the 2-hour pink pill.

Looking down her front, Hermione tried to feel happy, but couldn't.

After months of watching her labia be held open by the penis that had replaced her clitoris (and of feeling balls inside her labia), she would have though her impression about not having a penis would be 'the intruder is gone', but the words occupying her mind was 'my penis is missing'. After all, while the random erections were annoying, they didn't hold a candle to the convenience of urinating without undressing. Furthermore, it was decidedly hard to think of the labia as hers alone, considering that, while the left lip did have her chocolate skin tone, the right lip had Harry's pallid tone, and the currently-missing penis had a cafe-au-lait tone that would have fitted better with the Patil twins than with either Harry or her.

Besides, seven inches to her right, Harry was also staring down, and by feeling his heart rate climb and him making them both breath fast and shallow, and his hand twitch closed to the approximate size and shape of the missing phallus, she could tell he was working himself up to a panic.

Hermione, naturally, proceeded to defuse him: she used her hand to caress his right cheek, then pulled his face to kiss his other cheek. Then slid her face to gently rub his cheek with hers, while she gently pulled at his shoulder in their version of a hug.

It took him nearly a minute, but his pulse went down to normal, he stopped trying to hyperventilate them, and his hand hugged her back.

As she began to caress his cheek, she idly noted his hair had gone red. _'Well, his Mum had been a redhead,'_ she thought. His face seemed slimmer, his skin at least a shade brighter and he had a few cute freckles across his nose. His skin was also softer. She guessed that, if she pulled a mirror, she could get him rather entertained just looking at his new face, but she wanted something else...

After another minute, he nodded, then kissed her, and they went back to looking down their front, except that now Hermione had taken his hand, had kissed his fingers one by one, and was now gently placing his hand on top of _their_ labia.

She idly noted that his side of their pubes had gone red as well.

And she then taught him how a girl enjoys herself...

And around an hour later, spent and satisfied, they had looked at each other, and had experimentally kissed each other on the lips. Disappointingly, that kiss hadn't been any more appealing to Hermione than being kissed by one of her cousins, and Harry's sad visage had given evidence that he hadn't enjoyed it in turn. But Hermione had then kissed his cheek, and that had tasted just right, as had tasted having Harry kiss her cheek, then whisper the words "love" and "sister" as he fell asleep.

Hermione stayed awake for a while longer, pondering: had this been masturbation, or had she made love with Harry? For one thing, Hermione couldn't easily think about it as masturbation, as Harry had definitely been there! But then, she had lately began to notice that she was extending her sense of self over to Harry, feeling like she was kicked if Harry was marked lower than her; itching to do his homework; and even lately brushing his teeth with her toothbrush!

And why had the word "sister" felt so good out of his lips? She had been thinking about him as her boyfriend for a while now, but kissing his lips had tasted like taboo. And meanwhile, they had been nuzzling their cheeks together while they explored their folds...

She just could not fall asleep! She was too confused!

And then the two hours were up, Hermione felt how their clit grew into a penis and pushed its way out from their folds, and couldn't stop herself from closing her fingers around her manhood and melting in relief. She was asleep within moments.

* * *

The next night, she gladly ate the blue pill.

It took her a minute to get over their breasts deflating to nothing, but Harry then began palpating for their currently-missing opening. She giggled and whispered to him to better go for their balls, while she grabbed their halfway erect manhood and began rubbing it gently. Some ten minutes later, she was pulling at their manhood like she wanted to rip it off, while Harry groaned blissfully, insensate.

Shortly after, she had them spurting semen all over their belly, and only at this point did she remember The Talk her Mum had had with her last summer; it had included, among many other things, a very underlined comment that _any_ fluid coming out of an erect penis could possibly get her a woman pregnant!

Her sudden panic was well handled by Harry, though, who grabbed their scrotum and gave their balls quite a painful squeeze, then began to forcefully palpate the very much _not_ bifurcated skin behind their balls. It took Hermione a moment to get the meaning, then she let out a cry of relief and began hugging and kissing Harry.

Harry patted her shoulder in return, but once Hermione stopped kissing him and began nuzzling his cheek, he muttered something that begged to be said:

" _We are a complete mess, Hermione..."_

Which made Hermione look down and see the thick dollops of semen slowly rolling down their front, then noticed that her hand had also dirtied Harry's shoulder... and Harry's cheek.

Noticing her chagrin Harry grinned, then he took her wrist and manipulated her dirty hand against her left cheek, to then kiss her right one.

Harry then took the initiative to peek out through their silence-charmed curtains, then had them hop to the attached bathroom.

What they would have wanted to be a quick shower was interrupted when one of the toilet stalls went flush, and out came Parvati and Padma, two-headed and four-armed, who then shrugged off their bathrobe and nonchalantly took the next shower.

Four persons in two bodies were showering side by side, until the twins stepped a little closer and asked them to wash their back. Both Harry and her complied immediately, but Hermione's efficient movements paused once she noticed that Harry was moving much more slowly, that his eyes were glued downward, and that he was blushing like crazy. Thus, the male hormones coursing through her brain noticed that Padma and Parvati already had a noticeable hourglass figure...but Hermione shock herself and forced her arm to keep washing.

After a minute, the twins turned around, turned them around and put their hands against the wall, and began washing their back. And then, without even a warning, the twins stepped in, pressed their entire body against their back, and washed their front... until a hand strayed down their front and felt up their currently very erect manhood. The twins then yelped in stereo and stepped out of Harry's and Hermione's personal space, very hastily rinsed themselves in the next shower, and ran out of the room.

Five minutes later, sitting up inside their own bed, the one who was pulling like crazy was Harry, with Hermione holding a handful of paper napkins.

All of her previous life, Hermione was certain that she only liked boys, and thus her ego wanted her to say that she was straight and thus only along for the ride, but truthfully, her mind was currently full of black eyes, hips that fourteen-year-olds shouldn't have, three nipples pressed against their back, and that brief feeling of a hand not her own (or Harry's) closing around her manhood.

The second time they went to the bathroom that night, now just flushing some napkins and washing their hands, Hermione had a chance to look at herself in the mirror. Being a teenage version of her Dad was... strange.

* * *

Wednesday, after a day when they had unusually little homework, Hermione felt in the mood and asked Harry if he minded if they tried to explore their hermaphrodite body.

As it turned out, they couldn't really service their two sexes at once: playing with their flower lacked dimension unless they also had a hand playing with their breasts, and the last semen scare had them scared of pulling their third head unless they kept their other hand ready with tissues.

At the very least, though, by the time they had gone both ways, then had showered and had come back to bed, Hermione had her answer from last Saturday: it was masturbation. Harry and her nuzzling and kissing each other's cheeks wasn't love-making, but just lovingly sharing the experience. And, as Hermione nuzzled her sleeping brother, she decided that she wouldn't have it any other way.

But then, her brain caught up with her: the belts were due to open in a little over a month! This unwelcome realization got Hermione to very carefully stun herself, lest she be unable to sleep all night.

* * *

The Saturday after next, after two weeks when the Patils avoided teasing them and just kept giving them skittish looks from afar, Harry and Hermione received a surprise: the twins, in their dicephalous form, waiting for them in their bed!

The twins hissed them to close the curtain and get on, then they guided them to kneel in front of them, knees against knees. And then, the twins leaded forward and, very softly, kissed them.

It took Hermione a moment to compute: she just had her first kiss!

Eventually, though, she blinked, and found herself looking at Padma (and Parvati) fidgeting, looking vulnerable...

Hermione leaned forward and gave Padma a little kiss back. She would have leaned away again, but found that Parvati had attached herself to Harry's lips.

The next few minutes were the cutest thing ever, as Padma first pulled Parvati off of Harry and told her to let him kiss her. Harry, encouraged by her, then took his sweet time to first raise a hand and caress Parvati's cheek, then leaned forward and nuzzled her cheek, then rested his cheek on hers while he hugged her very, very softly, and finally leaned back and found her lips with his.

Some ten minutes later, Padma said that they needed to get back to bed, so she kissed her one last time, then kissed Harry and grinned. Hermione took a moment to understand, but she then too kissed Padma, then Parvati. Parvati kissed Harry, then her, and finally Harry kissed Parvati, then Padma...'s cheek.

A few minutes later, with the twins gone and Harry hugging and nuzzling her, Hermione found herself wondering if she should start thinking about Harry in female pronouns: he was, after all, such a wilting violet! But, as she was falling asleep, she decided that she would continue thinking about him as male. If alone to not blame herself for fantasizing about having pulled the twins onto their lap and done something that girls were not equipped to do to other girls...

* * *

From then on, the twins' teasing turned into flirting, with Parvati touching the very shy Harry at any chance, and Padma making a point to give Hermione one-armed hugs and significant looks whenever possible. And during study halls in weekdays, the twins would sandwich them and often steal their hands. Never mind whatever kissing happened during the weekends, whenever the twins would be one bodied...

In all, while Hermione certainly enjoyed suddenly finding herself with a girlfriend, she was also rather bemused conceptually: after all, contrary to very recent evidence, Hermione had never felt lesbian attraction in all of her previous life...

* * *

 **May**

This being the day these belts were supposed to finally open, Harry and Hermione had been locked alone in this guest suite.

They had brought books and games to keep themselves entertained, but once it truly hit them that their time together was coming to a close, they started sobbing and hugging, which somehow devolved into masturbating. And it wasn't their normally gentle and loving way of sharing the experience every weekend, or the few times they had done it after a hard test, but more of a rough, desperate need for comfort.

Such was their desperation that Hermione had, at some point, taken a towel and had transfigured it into a brass replica of their own phallus. Harry had then taken it and had stuffed it into their entrance, but then got to just gyrate the tip against their hymen. Hermione quickly lost patience, grabbed Harry's hand around their fake penis, and pulled it in.

The pain had been sharp. Very sharp. Sharp enough to make them both gasp in pain and break them out of their funk. Which then rapidly had them hugging, mashing their cheeks together, and crying bitter tears.

" _I'm going to miss this so much, Hermione,"_ he muttered into her cheek.

" _Privacy is such an overrated concept"_ she replied.

Harry nodded at that. "And say, Hermione, would you mind if I take the Knight Bus and visit you every now and then over the summer?"

"On the contrary, Harry: we have a guest room and hardly any guests. And I also say we should try to be a couple, and promise to continue being the absolute best of friends if that doesn't work out."

"Well... I think the Patils have called dibs on being a couple with us..." muttered Harry, blushing.

Hermione nodded back, blushing as well.

"Well... let's promise to not be jealous with each other," she temporized.

"Absolutely." He said nodding once, emphatically. "And say, I'll be travelling to India the day I turn 18, and I'll buy our own belts."

"Are you still set on being an auror, Harry?"

He blinked and pulled back a little, in order to have eye contact. "Not if you don't want to, Hermione."

"On the contrary, Harry," she said, breaking eye contact to nuzzle him. "Let us give Britain a two-headed Auror!"

As they continued to cuddle, he began to sniffle. Her own eyes grew misty at that.

Further actions were interrupted as the belt grew warm. They shared a look, then they began staring down.

Belatedly, Hermione noticed that they still had the fake penis inside them, so she quickly pulled it out and tossed it aside.

The process was going slower this time, though: while the first time, the sensation of warmth spread quite rapidly, it was only inching down now. It was taking long enough for them to watch how their two legs turned into putty, then flowed together and melted into a single column.

Although, Hermione had only watched the legs with half an eye, her sight far more invested in watching their penis melting into their also melting womanhood. She would miss that tube steak everyday until it was hers again!

The 'heat' began moving upward. The chocolate on one side and the pinkish on the other kept melting into milk-coffee...

Up to their navels...

Up to their floating ribs...

Up to their breasts... which Harry had enjoyed more than her.

Up to their collar bones... it should be over soon...

But then, their arms shrank and were sucked into their mass!

And then, the heat kept moving upward! Hermione had a moment to share a look with Harry, who was similarly alarmed, before the heat pressed their heads together and melted them.

In her last moments of consciousness, she became aware of Harry's forehead letting out billows of black smoke...

* * *

When Hermione woke up next, it was dark.

"Woken up, sleepy head?" whispered Harry, teasingly, right next to her. His voice had sounded somewhat weird, though. Higher pitched.

"I'd say, Mr. Potter" she said, finding her own voice lower.

He then began nuzzling her. She nuzzled him back, as two arms closed around their body. Hermione was then surprised to notice that there were two more arms lying there, and were both under her control. She obviously hugged Harry with them... in as much as hugging her own body meant hugging Harry as well.

Over the next few minutes, she learned anew how to own a right hand. While having Harry had meant that she had never really been down to being one-handed, she could never take for granted that Harry wasn't using his hand to do his own business. Of course, her having grown a right arm meant that she now had a left arm not under her own control, but she guessed that both Harry and her would grow used to the slight inconvenience.

They also learned that their legs didn't work as they used to anymore: rather than each of them controlling one, they now both had full control, and could both take control or give it.

They got up. Five times in a row, in fact, as they experienced the sensation of either controlling or letting go of their legs. Curiously, Hermione found herself liking letting Harry have it, which seemed to resonate with Harry liking having it, and she wondered if this compared with her Mum always letting her Dad drive, despite her being every bit as good as him.

They eventually got to the room's full body mirror. A quick _Lumos Candelaria_ from him created a bunch of floating candles, and Hermione learned for certain of the wonderful truth: their skin wasn't black on one side and white on the other, nor did her face, her features, even her hair were distinct from his: they were now absolutely identical, a perfect combination of the two of them, down to his ugly, purplish scar having turned into faded blemishes on both their foreheads.

Summoning even more candles to see better, Hermione carefully noted every feature of their new form:

Their hairs, from straight and short, and very tightly curled and reaching below her shoulders (which she knew for a fact it was way longer), had evened out to wavy, and the same apparent length.

Their faces were beautiful: the shape of his face, contrary to her more round one; their eyes had evened out to hazel; her lips had thinned while his had thickened; her strong eyebrows and her soft cheekbones looked good with his soft nose...

And then she noticed that she now had an Adam's apple! Not very prominent, but it was present...

Their breasts seemed to be fuller as well. Hermione hoped this wasn't just wishful thinking on her part...

Their waist and hips seemed completely male in proportions. If she squinted, she could still see some hourglass there, but she was smart enough to understand that it was coming from their very wide upper torso tapering onto a normal waist. Hermione guessed things balanced out: just like they would likely never be confused for male by looking at their front, they would likely pass as boys by being looked from their back.

Their legs were slender and graceful: she already liked both her leg and Harry's, and them now matching just made them better. And their skin was so silky! Hermione needed to try on some pantyhose!

Of course, their third head was the same. The difference was that their lips around it now matched its colour.

And finally, their hands: her hands had been longer, but also weak and thin compared to Harry's. Well, their hands were now all as large as hers, but also wide and strong as his.

But then, Harry began frowning, then rubbing his Adam's apple.

He went on like this for a minute, before something seemed to go click on his neck, and he opened his mouth again.

"I am Harry Potter" he said, in his normal, boyish voice.

Another almost unheard click... "I am Harry Potter" he now said in their new androgynous voice.

Another click... "I am Harriet Potter" he now said in her voice.

Hermione brought her own hand to her throat and concentrated. It took her a minute, but she did find something to move, and moved it.

"I am Wendell Granger" she then tried to say in her Dad's voice. She was sure that she failed, though, coming out slightly off. Then again, she hadn't heard her Dad's voice in five months! It wouldn't dawn on her until much later that she had never previously heard her Dad's voice when he was fourteen...

"Eh, Hermione," said Harry, still on her voice. "Could we try to change ourselves back to normal?"

Feeling a little playful, she pouted at him."I like ourselves like this, Harry," she whined.

"So do I, but I would like to keep this appearance in reserve or something, like a disguise."

"Good thinking," she replied seriously. "I do want to tell friends and family, though."

Harry nodded silently, already concentrating inwards. She quickly followed.

It did take them a while, but it suddenly clicked and then they were back to prior, except that they still had four arms, that Harry's scar was pink rather than purple, and that the blur between their two skin tones had expanded from an almost sharp half-inch to a very gentle effect wide enough to fully encompass their middle breast. In all, Hermione approved.

But then, thinking about disguises...

"Harry," she said, back to her own 'normal' voice. "Could you turn into my twin? I don't want to shock my parents too much."

"Of course," he said.

It took him less time than prior to get the magic flowing. Some thirty seconds after asking him, the mirror was showing that same two-headed girl who visited Hogsmeade in January.

Then they melted back to their "normal" appearance, dressed, and exited the room to give the adults some very sad news.

* * *

At the very least, though, they later found out that, with Harry being able to have four limbs, he was back to being an awesome Quidditch player. Too bad Quidditch season was over, though...

And things got even better once they discovered that, if they thought really hard at each other, they could converse mind-to-mind.

* * *

 **Epilogue:**

Shortly after the train had started on its journey back to London, the twins asked their companions, Luna, Neville and Lavender, out of the compartment. While it would have been hilarious to see Luna take turns kissing the other two, Hermione felt quite a bit of anticipation regarding the saucy looks that both twins were giving them.

After locking the door, and applying a sticking charm to the blinders, the twins demonstrated them just how good had they gotten with their transformation, by taking out a simple sundress and pink panties from one of their trunks, then shrugging off their robes, hugging (which achieved the fusion in no time at all), then nonchalantly dressing and climbing on their lap.

Harry then thought at her that they too should get ready. And with an effort of will, they too got up, picked up their clothes for London (coincidentally, another sundress), disrobed, lifted up the dress and... _Harry thought at her to turn into her Dad..._ the dress fell on a black boy and a redheaded girl.

This really seemed to impress Padma, whose mouth fell open, her expression utterly surprised, before her lips curbed upward and she jumped on Hermione and began to suck her face!

Hermione was just too happy to give as good as she was receiving, though.

But they then came up for air, and noticed that their two usually outgoing heads weren't necking. In a twist that Hermione considered hilarious, the usually submissive Harry was giving feather-soft caresses to the cheek of an unusually flustered Parvati.

It took Parvati a while, some ten minutes or so, before she too began sucking face with 'Harriet'. At which point Padma reminded Hermione that she too had some lips to eat.

Nevertheless, Padma stopped the kissing some time later.

"Hermione Granger," Padma said, gasping for breath. "Please know that I am not a lesbian, but otherwise, you have everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend: you are smarter than I am, you are my friend, and you are attached to the same penis as my sister's boyfriend."

"Don't be so shocked, Hermione", added Parvati. "My sis and I decided ages ago that we wanted to grow up and be the same woman, so we either needed to find two very understanding boyfriends, or to have the same one. And with you and this cutie pie here," She punctuated by pecking at Harry's lips. "I get a fun one, she gets a boring one, and we still get the same one!"

"Hermione's not boring, Vati!"

"If I couldn't deal with boring, Pad, we wouldn't be on the same shoulders."

"Point," added Harry. "Mione," he then said, turning at her. "I love being one with you, even if you sometimes bore me to sleep, or even if you can't fly."

"Actually, Harry," interjected Parvati. "Now that you are Harihara..."

"Ardhanarishvara, actually," interrupted Padma. "They are hermaphrodite, Vati."

"Yeah, well, as you are that, you now can learn whole new schools of magic, including stuff like temporary separation, or even exchanging half of yourselves with another Harihara." She then wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Care to leave Hermione in the library and take me for a flight?"

Harry replied to that by crashing his lips onto hers. She chuckled into his lips before returning the kiss in earnest.

Hermione would have wanted to take offence at that, as she had seen a sharp improvement recently, but Padma was demanding attention...

* * *

They didn't do anything other than necking over that train ride, but the Patil twins still insisted to exchange underwear with them. Upon reaching London, Mum and Dad demanded some very frank discussions, which led to them panicking and the Granger family immediately changing names and moving to an international school for magic south of Mexico City. Still, while they never knew about the Patil twins again, and eventually they both found new loves, the newly christened Mario and Guadalupe Salas forever cherished and kept a zip-lock bag with some pink cotton panties.

Guadalupe "Hermione" Salas did learn to love playing sports, eventually. Pok ta pok and fire hockey really got her blood pumping!

* * *

 **Chapter published October 10, 2018.**

 **Prior update: March 25, 2017. Sorry about that.**


	6. Cho's Dilemma, Version 2

**Cho's Dilemma V2**

* * *

When her grandmother had told her stories about how society had been back in pre-Mao China, Cho had scarcely believed them. She could never conceptualize how a woman would marry a man despite this man not only being in love, but being married to a first wife. She couldn't understand how her own grandmother had entered such an arrangement and willingly became a second fiddle.

Today, Cho understood her grandmother. Five years ago she had, after all, married Harry Potter, not caring that his body had recently become hermaphrodite, or that "his" shoulders also included the head of his best friend, Hermione Granger. She had believed what they said, because at the time they too believed it: that they loved each other like siblings.

But that had been the answer of five years ago. A year later, though, Harry had been officially inducted into the Wizengamot; Hermione had developed an interest in politics shortly after, then he had slowly convinced her they could step down from the Auror corps, officially to administer the Potter investments full-time. Extra-officially, nonetheless, Harry had done it to allow Hermione to pursue politics full time, with his full support: he surprised her in the very next Wizengamot session by officially declaring her as his proxy. It wouldn't have meant a lot for a busy or lazy lord to name a proxy, but all the political players in Magical Britain had heard his real message loud and clear, as it was otherwise ridiculous for a lord to name a proxy that couldn't go anywhere without the lord himself being present too.

That very night, three and a half years ago, was the very first time Cho found herself as a second fiddle: while it had been Cho herself who had bought a strap-on some six months prior, it had always been something of a pity-fuck from the couple to their friend; that night, however, Hermione and Harry kissed for the first time ever, and it rapidly devolved into them first making sweet and tender love, then fucking each other with complete abandon, with Cho reduced to a strap-on or a vagina standing proxy between them.

But Cho hadn't pushed the issue, because she knew Hermione needed to feel love rather than forever be a fuckbuddy. She knew that Hermione's heart had been torn in half when the Weasel cast her aside because he couldn't deal with her new condition, and that not having her own man would have been an eternal thorn inside Hermione's heart. Cho had in fact bought the strap-on because she hadn't wanted Hermione to go search for sex outside their bedroom, and this was nothing but the next step. Cho neither did complain that night, nor she ever commented on the fact that Hermione became, from then on, an active participant ( _rather than an obligated tag-along_ ) almost every time Cho and Harry made love. Over time, though, Cho began to chaff over the fact that, well, she had suddenly begun competing for her hubby's love with another woman. And this other woman had far better access to Harry than she ever did. She was in fact so close to Harry that they both wore the same skin!

Cho knew they weren't leaving her aside on purpose, but her heart couldn't stop crumbling every time she noticed them casually perform little miracles of interpersonal cooperation, such as being capable of fully using each others' wands, completing each others' sentences without even noticing, or sitting down every night and every morning and Hermione casually and efficiently styling her hair two handed, when she only had any motor control over their left hand.

Never mind that Cho wasn't gay, and hadn't felt too comfortable the dozen times so far that 'date night' had consisted of Hermione 'seducing' her, with Harry just tagging along! To her, their regular threesomes were both Hermione and her making love to Harry, but clearly Hermione didn't agree, and while Cho didn't mind wearing the strap-on for Hermione, she didn't exactly love having the strap-on inside her, while her husband's little soldier poked her thigh! And never mind how those times had clearly been Hermione making love to Cho, with her dear hubby just as a mute witness!

Which had all led to the letter she had received today, and she was reading for the fifth time:

* * *

 _London, England; January 10, 2005._

 _From: "Bootstrap", Department of Mysteries, Ministry of Magic_

 _To: Mrs. Cho Potter_

 _Subject: Semester status report to sponsors of specific research_

 _Dear Mrs. Potter:_

 _Once again, we wish to thank you for your sponsorship these past two years._

 _Beyond that, we wish to inform you that we have achieved a measure of success: it first took us months to be able to consistently replicate the portkey accident that conjoined Hermione Granger with Harry Potter, and while our research hasn't reached the point where we could recreate their two bodies, we have learned how to safely transfer the conjoinment. This means that we can transfer one of the conjoined individuals to be conjoined with a third party, leaving the other in a normal body. The limits to the current ritual, however, is that we cannot currently target which conjoined individual becomes pulled into the third party, and that a 10% of the time, the ritual backfires and the third individual becomes another head along the other two. Annoyingly enough, when we were learning safety (the ritual originally had a 50% chance of backfiring), we learned how to target the backfire, so the new head would be left, right or centre of the other two._

 _Research is still ongoing, of course, both on how to recreate two bodies out of a fused one, and how to target the current ritual, plus a minor avenue on how to reverse the backfiring ritual._

* * *

And Cho knew that the current ritual was already perfect for her purposes: if it worked, then she would either share shoulders with Hermione and be on level footing with her, or would gain the upper hand by switching the current situation in her favour; if it backfired, on the other hand, she could arrange to be the right head, and her dear hubby could then have a wife on each shoulder.

Thing is: did she want to come forward now, or wait some more until the Unspeakeables finished? She knew she could show up with the current ritual and confess and sob until her husband and wife accepted out of pity, but did she want to manipulate them like this?

* * *

 **Publishing date: October 11, 2018.**

 **I've been noticing that most of these short stories have Harry and Hermione conjoined. That isn't entirely intentional on my part: that's just how my muse works.**

 **As always on this file, the stories here can be considered finished. If a reader wants to pick one up and continue it, just please tell me so I can read it as well.**

 **Thanks for reading.**


	7. Cho's Dilemma, Version 3

**.**

 **Cho's Dilemma V3**

* * *

It had begun innocently enough.

Cho had married Harry, and because they were Soul-linked, Hermione had had to move in as well.

But then Cho saw that, over the following months, that the soul link was beginning to wear at their personalities, and their individuality: first simple things like finding Harry reading while Hermione flies the Firebolt, but then went to things like them seamlessly completing each other's sentences, or Hermione distractedly giving her good morning kisses.

After enough "little accidents", Cho decided to actively experiment, and hadn't those been informative...

First, she begun calling them by each others name, and found that they answered unfailingly. Then she did a few other things, like taking them shopping separately and then getting Harry to boy-watch, or getting Hermione to flirt with her. And it finally led to today: she had laced their evening teas with a generous amount of Confusion potion, then had them drink more whisky than normal, and then sent Harry to Hermione's bedroom while she led Hermione into theirs.

Under the chocolate-coloured, soft skin; behind the black eyes and the breasts and the fuller lips, Cho could certainly taste the flavour of Harry's love and passion. Thing is, while Cho knew she loved her Harry with all her heart, she was decidedly straight, and couldn't get the fortitude to pull the brand-new strap-on out of her dresser and make love to Harry's female half.

So, rather than continue and blue-ball her dear hubby, she gave his two bodies antidotes both for the confusion and the alcohol, then had a good, long chat with both of him. Her dear hubby did almost beg her into using the strap-on, though, which made her feel like an undutiful wife for having neglected her dear hubby's other self for so long.

* * *

But still, for her it was a dilemma: her husband was half-female, and Cho was decidedly straight!

It shouldn't have surprised Cho that Harry's smarter half solved her so-called dilemma in less than a month: these Brazilian gender-flipping pills, that sold three galleons for a fifty-pill jar. And Goodness that every good thing ever said about going to bed with a black man was true!

* * *

The following years were very interesting in the bedroom of the Potter state, as Cho first managed to become pregnant with fraternal twins, Richard Potter and Krystal Granger, then 'Cheng' managed to both get Hermione and 'Harriet' pregnant by 'him', Bridgette Lilly Chang and Marcus Wendell Chang, and she finally convinced her hubby to try to have a child by their two bloodlines.

Of course that Caroline Jamie Potter wasn't technically her child, but that certainly didn't stop Cho from drinking her lactation potions and loving her every bit as much as her other four.

And then Cho convinced her hubby to have 'Hermes' knock her up again, just so they would have two children for each family name. Nonetheless, Wendell and Monica Granger were the best parents in law that she could have ever asked for. Thus Cheng Granger was born.

As the years passed, Cho was Mummy, both Harry and Hermione were "Daddy", and their six little treasures grew up in kisses and hugs.

* * *

 **Date published: November 12, 2018.**

As always, these shorts are open for adoption by authors who may wish to expand them. Just tell me, so I can read it as well.


End file.
